/** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * If Phil sneezes in the forest and there are no Zen masters * present to debate the issue, do the trees still fall over? * Published weekly, or at other random intervals, by Phillip Thorne * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/ * * Volume 1, Issue 7: Tuesday 23 November 1999 * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */ In this issue: UPCOMING: Heads Up, Cinema, Primetime, Voyager TRIVIA: How many Bond films are there? SOMNABULATIONS: Metal rain, Flapper era, cameos and nanotech! EPISODE GUIDE: Finally, the proper order of ROUGHNECKS! ERRATA: Linebreaks, 19 not 17, Futurama numbering, Tophet. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions /** ***************************************************************** * Upcoming * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies * *************************************************************** */ Heads up: Tomorrow, Wednesday 24 November, sees the premiere of both END OF DAYS, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger bodyguards the woman Satan plans to impregnate, and at the far end of the spectrum, Disney/Pixar's TOY STORY 2, in which the expanded toy chest must save Woody from a collector. I had a dream about that. Episode 25 of ROUGHNECKS, "The Ice Men Goeth", airs tomorrow, 25 November, at 15:00 on WGBH-48 (Philadelphia). Sheesh, that's a jump of 8 eps; 17-20 (most of mini-arc 4, Tesca Nemerossa) and 21-24 (most of mini-arc 5). It repeats Friday in the same slot. The UPN retrospective ULTIMATE TREK: STAR TREK'S GREATEST MOMENTS airs Wednesday 1 December at 20:00, pre-empting 7 DAYS. It's hosted by Jason Alexander (SEINFELD), who appeared as Kurros, spokesbeing for the brainy "Think Tank" organization in the eponymous episode 519/914 of VOYAGER. It repeats Saturday 4 December at 17:00. Cinema: End of Days w 1124 Ah-nuld vs. Satan. Toy Story 2 w 1124 CGI traffic cones. Bicentennial Man f 1217 Robin Williams robot. Stuart Little f 1217 Talking mouse person. Galaxy Quest z 1225 Aliens abduct SF cast. Fantasia 2000 z 0101 Disney. Supernova f 0114 Medship escape boom! Primetime TV: * Dil The trial 204 t 1123-2000 57 * Buf Pangs 408 t 1123-2000 17 * Ang I will remember you 108 t 1123-2100 17 * Ros Blood brother ... w 1124-2100 17 * N+A By the light of the moon 109 f 1126-2100 3 * EFC Pad'ar 308 z 1127-1600 17 * SG1 Spirits 213 z 1127-1700 29 r SG1 Bane 212 s 1128-0400 29 * Sim Take my wife, sleaze 1105 s 1128-2000 29 * Fut Brannigan, begin again 202 s 1128-2030 29 * XF Millenium 704 s 1128-2100 29 RD Cassandra 804 s 1128-2330 12 r EFC A little bit of heaven 207 s 1128-2330 17 Dil (pre-empted by WWF) t 1130-2000 57 * Buf Something blue 409 t 1130-2000 17 * Ang Hero 109 t 1130-2100 17 * Ros Heat Wave ... w 1201-2100 17 N+A (no episode) f 1203-2100 3 * EFC In Memory 309 z 1204-1600 17 SG1 In the Serpent's Lair 201 z 1204-1700 29 r SG1 Spirits 213 s 1205-0400 29 Upcoming episodes of STAR TREK VOYAGER: (Pre-empted by NHL) m 1122 Macrocosm 312 t 1123-1900 Kill the flying superviri. (Pre-empted by NHL) w 1124-1900 (Moves to Saturday) w 1124-2100 Elogium 204 r 1125-1900 Aliens! Kes pregnant? Nemesis 404 f 1126-1900 Chakotay war-brainwashed. * The Voyager conspiracy 609 z 1127-2100 New. State of flux 111 s 1128-1200 Traitor gives Kazon tech. Death wish 218 m 1129-1900 Suicidal Q in comet. False profits 305 t 1130-1900 Ferengi rule primitives. The Q and the Grey 311 w 1201-1900 Q seeks help in Q war. * Pathfinder 610 w 1201-2100 New. Basics, part 1 226 r 1202-1900 Kazon capture Voyager. Basics, part 2 301 f 1203-1900 Beasts eat stranded crew. r Pathfinder 610 z 1204-1800 Ibid. /** ***************************************************************** * Trivia * HOW MANY BOND FILMS ARE THERE? * *************************************************************** */ On Friday, 19 November 1999, the 19th James Bond 007 film premiered nationwide. Or is it the 20th or 21st? The IMDB helps answer the question, although a simple character search on "James Bond" produces some surprisingly uncategorizable results. Most of the films are based on one or more Ian Fleming novels, and are credited as such. (According to Kibo in a recent serious post to news:alt.religion.kibology, said novels were quite astoundingly awful and the copyright holders, to match the original writing style, have apparently hired subsequent writers on the basis of their incompetence with English.) 1977's THE SPY WHO LOVED ME saw the graduation of UA from mere distributor to first-billed coproducer. Over the years, at least five actors have played 007, and three companies have shared production responsibility; they are abbreviated as follows. U United Artists D Danjaq Productions E Eon PB Pierce Brosnan 3 films, 1995-99 SC Sean Connery 7 films, 1962-83 TD Timothy Dalton 2 films, 1987-89 GL George Lazenby 1 film, 1969 RM Roger Moore 7 films, 1973-1985 Year Title 007 Writer Prod ---- ------------------------------- --- ----------------- ---- 1999 The world is not enough PB Bruce Feirstein* UDE 1997 Tomorrow never dies PB Bruce Feirstein UDE 1995 GoldenEye PB Bruce Feirstein UDE 1989 License to kill TD Michael G. Wilson UDE 1987 The living daylights TD Richard Maibaum UDE 1985 A view to a kill RM Richard Maibaum UDE 1983 Octopussy RM George M. Fraser UDE 1983 Never say never again SC ** ** 1981 For your eyes only RM Richard Maibaum UDE 1979 Moonraker RM Christopher Wood UDE 1977 The spy who loved me RM Christopher Wood UDE 1974 The man with the golden gun RM Richard Maibaum DE 1973 Live and let die RM Tom Mankiewicz DE 1971 Diamonds are forever SC Richard Maibaum DE 1969 On her majesty's secret service GL Richard Maibaum DE 1967 You only live twice SC Roald Dahl DE 1967 Casino royale *** *** *** 1965 Thunderball SC Kevin McClory DE**** 1964 Goldfinger SC Richard Maibaum DE 1963 From Russia with love SC Johanna Harwood DE 1962 Dr. No SC Richard Maibaum DE ---- ------------------------------- --- ----------------- ---- * 1999's THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH was cowritten by Michael France. ** 1983's NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN had two writers (Kevin McClory, Jack Whittingham) and was produced not by UA/Danjaq/Eon but by Warner Bros. and Talia Films. *** 1967's CASINO ROYALE (writer: Wolf Mankowitz) is a bizarre abberration produced by Columbia rather than United Artists. Its IMDB entry implies it had *several* actors playing the lead role (Terence Cooper, David Niven, Peter Sellers). **** 1965's THUNDERBALL added Underwater Productions Ltd. to Danjaq/Eon; they were responsible for the film's underwater sequences. /** ***************************************************************** * Finally, a definitive ordering of the episodes of * ROUGHNECKS: STARSHIP TROOPER CHRONICLES * *************************************************************** */ This episode guide originally appeared on AnotherUniverse.com and is now part of Roughneckchronicles.com. The site seems to be run by a Transformers fan -- can you think of any other source for the name "Rodimus"? The entries below list day of the campaign, episode title, keywords and bugs first encountered, and the date it first aired (if known). Pluto: Day 1: Freefall: first drop, Tanker bugs. Day 4: Plasma Bugs of Navarone: McHenry Outpost, Cliff Mites. Day 9: Handle with Care: Intel mission to retrieve baby Plasma. Day 10: Basic Training: Rescue Vector Squad, Hoppers. Day ??: Deep Trouble: Operation Clean Sweep, Bug City, Transport. Hydora: H+1dy: Water, Water Everywhere: Pursue Transport, TP call, Ripplers. H+1mo: Swarm: Ibanez, Zebra Squad, Rico shows off, Kamikazes. H+??: Search and Destroy: Bug nest, meet Mama Rippler. H+5wk: Missing in Action: Look for MIA squads, Water Tigers. (991112) H+4mo: Sole Survivor: Carl thinks at Brain bug, Servants. (991104) Tophet: ??: Betrayal (unaired) ??: Stranded: Razak and Higgins, Ibanez, Barcalow bombs, Blister. Day 27: Of Flesh and Steel: CHAS the robot, Atomic Blaster. ??: Captured (unaired) ??: The Face of Truth (unaired) Tesca Nemerossa: TN+6dy: No Substitute: Skinny T'Phai replaces Carl. (991119) /** ***************************************************************** * From the secret mixed-up files of Phil's head, it's... * HIS WACKIEST SOMNABULATIONS * 6 December 1998 - Alien metal nanotech rain in DiCaprio's * Flapper era changes Fox Mulder's future! * *************************************************************** */ Quarter-sized disks made of some dark metal drop from the sky and accumulate in seemingly purposeful patterns a few millimeters from the ground, where they spin and bob as though magnetically repelled. As I traverse the park, the rain becomes denser and the patterns begin to resemble fractals assembling from individual IFS points, or maybe Cooper pairs in a superconductor. The architecture around the park and the dress of the visitors looks to be Flapper-era British. I turn my attention to another species of bolide, a golden sphere with a squarish blue glass inset, sprouting three round feet (rather like an ammonia molecule eyeball), the same size as the disks. Like polymers-turned-inverted-pendulum, three stacks of them wobble frantically as they accumulate additional units. Falling over, the stacks join at their tips into a pyramid. Leonardo DiCaprio (in period dress) is now carrying the joined stacks, which sprout from a tennis ball-sized device with a knurled knob on its side. He's swerving, trying to keep them upright. Agitated, the spheres twist around each other, merging and reforming into a succession of fantastic shapes. He enters a richly-furnished parlor, with patterned upholstery, grandfather clock and curio cabinets, still balancing the stack. A young lady (sprawled back on a couch and fairly radiating fashionable ennui) and second young man are there. The stack transforms into a small rectangular glass flask with golden top and base and emblazoned with gold kanji, reflecting the era's Chinoisie fad. It's partly filled with a blue liquid -- an elixir of something undefined but very positive. DiCaprio takes a swig, then passes it to me like a hipflask. I'm confident I can analyze and synthesize it with my implanted nanotech gear, so I take only a very small sip and save the rest for the room's remaining occupants. The elixir changes the future. Outside, Fox Mulder confronts characters from an episode of "The X-Files", and their argument changes one speaker at a time as history catches up and deletes their conflict. /** ***************************************************************** * Errata * *************************************************************** */ Issue 6 probably appeared in your mail client with annoying line-wrap errors. Oops. I forgot to reset the line width in MSOutlookExpress from 74 to 80. THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH might be the 19th or 21st Bond film, but it's definitely not the 17th. The last few issues have listed FUTURAMA episodes in the 200 range. Actually, the first three aired this fall were actually the remainder of the first 13-episode season; season 2 properly began with Sunday's "I Second that Emotion." In the ROUGHNECKS: STARSHIP TROOPER CHRONICLES articles, I've been spelling the third world the MI visits as "Tarpit." In fact, it's "Tophet." /** ***************************************************************** * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *************************************************************** */ All books, movies, television shows, toys and other creative works reviewed or analyzed herein are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 1999 by Phillip Thorne. Some data may have been reprocessed via aint-it-cool- news.com, foxkids.com, imdb.com, tv.excite.com, upcomingmovies.com and other sites. If not for the existence of television shows, some of them good, others really really bad, Phillip would be forced to fill this newsletter with even more of his wacky crazy bizarre dreams. Or possibly the movie, toy and book reviews he keeps promising to include. You're receiving this newsletter because you're a friend, former classmate and/or former or current coworker of Phillip Thorne, or have specifically subscribed to it. To receive the eighth and subsequent issues, send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "SUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" or 'subscribe nonsequitur' in the subject line and/or body. To stop subscribing, s/subscribe/unsubscribe/ig. Capitalization and punctuation doesn't matter. /** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/ * Volume 1, Issue 7: Tuesday 23 November 1999 * Copyright 1999 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */