/** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * "In the year 3357, somebody poked a hole in heaven..." * Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * * Volume 2, Issue 3: Saturday 29 January 2000 * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */ In this issue: LETTER: Errata bylines, Upcoming. UPCOMING: Heads Up, Animation, Primetime, Voyager. SERIES ANALYSIS: Back 2 Back Action. EPISODE SYNOPSIS: Cleopatra 2525: "Quest for Firepower". ERRATA: Episode listings and numbering, character names. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ***************************************************************** * LETTER FROM THE EDITOR * *************************************************************** */ Towards the bottom of each issue of _NSX_, you'll find the "Errata" section. This is where I own up to any mistakes, omissions, or misrepresenatations I might have made in prior issues, even if they're merely "garbage-in, garbage-out" relayed from the websites I use for TV listings. If you (the readers) discover something that seems off-kilter, please bring it to my attention at pethorne@earthlink.net. If you'd like to be specifically cited for your contribution, please indicate the name and address you'd like for a byline. For instance, "Wes Weber of Walla Walla Washington writes..." The reader who provided the Confederate vexillological correction in last week's issue? If you'd like to be (belatedly) cited, please speak up. The "Upcoming" section sometimes lists shows from the week before the issue was transmitted. I include those for context, or in case you need to identify some episodes taped in prior days. /** ***************************************************************** * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books * *************************************************************** */ Heads up: I've changed the ticker symbol for "Roughnecks: Starship Trooper Chronicles" from RSST to RSTC, the abbreviation used on roughneckchronicles.com. February is schedule to premiere 11 new episodes, and March another 7. The digits in the leftmost column indicate how many times the episode has aired; e.g., the 31-jan showing of 118 "Marauder" is the sixth. An asterisk indicates a new episode "NASCAR Racers" premieres in its regular timeslot on FoxKids on sat-5-feb-2000-09:30. Upcoming Animated TV: 6 RSTC Marauder 43/118 m 0131 2 RSTC The Inside Story 54/124 t 0201 6 RSTC ...And Then There Were Two 42/117 w 0202 3 RSTC Heart 45/120 r 0203 6 RSTC Liquid Dreams 44/119 f 0204 6 RSTC Hot Ice 53/123 m 0207 * RSTC Ice-Olation 51/121 t 0208 3 RSTC Propaganda Machine 142 w 0209 2 RSTC Captured 34/114 r 0210 4 RSTC Heart 45/120 f 0211 * RSTC The Face of Truth 35/115 m 0214 * RSTC Mixed Signals 52/122 t 0215 * RSTC Betrayal 31/111 w 0216 * RSTC D-Day 62/127 r 0217 * RSTC Metamorphosis 61/126 f 0218 * RSTC Letters Home 64/129 m 0221 * RSTC Clip Show #3 143 t 0222 * RSTC Trackers 71/131 w 0223 2 RSTC Ice-Olation 51/121 r 0224 * RSTC The Mission 63/128 f 0225 * RSTC Checkmate 65/130 m 0228 * RSTC The Ice Men Goeth 55/125 t 0301 * RSTC Among Us 72/132 f 0303 * RSTC Requiem 75/135 m 0306 * RSTC Spirits of the Departed 82/137 r 0309 * RSTC Hide 'N' Seek 74/134 t 0314 * RSTC Clip Show #4 144 m 0320 * RSTC Funeral for a Friend 81/136 r 0330 Sh22 ../ Deranged Detective 120 m 0124-1600 fox TFBW Other Visits, part 2 207 t 0125-1600 fox TFBW Bad Spark 208 w 0126-1600 fox TFBW Code of Hero 209 r 0127-1600 fox TFBW Transmutate 210 f 0128-1600 fox Gdz Metamorphosis ... z 0129-1000 fox TFBM The Weak Component 106 z 0129-1100 fox Avg What a Vision Has to Do ... z 0129-1130 fox CSSM Splitzy's Choice 107 s 0130-1130 48 Upcoming Primetime (etc.) TV: B5 Secrets of the Soul 508 z 0129-0700 tnt (Robot Wars premp'd) DS9 Looking for Par'Mach in All the /.. 503 z 0129-1500 29 * EFC Keep Your Enemies Closer 312 z 0129-1600 17 SG1 Thor's Chariot 206 z 0129-1700 29 TNG Heart of Glory 120 z 0129-1800 57 * Cle Creegan 1202 z 0129-2000 17 * JAT Sex and the Single Spy 1304 z 0129-2030 17 r SG1 Touchstone 214 s 0130-0400 29 r Sim Eight Misbehavin' 1103 s 0130-2000 fox r XF Millenium 705 s 0130-2100 fox Robot Wars s 0130-2330 12 EFC Interview 311 s 0130-2330 17 r Buf Fear Itself 404 t 0201-2000 wb r Ang Bachelor Party 107 t 0201-2100 wb * Dil Hunger 208 t 0201-2130 upn r 7D Pinball Wizard 202 w 0202-2000 upn * Ros The Convention ... w 0202-2100 wb Robot Wars r 0203-2300 12 Robot Wars r 0203-2330 12 N+A (Premp'd by Miss USA Pageant) f 0204 B5 In the Kingdom of the Blind 509 z 0205-0700 tnt BCJ Mail Order Brides 114 z 0205-1000 tnt Robot Wars z 0205-1030 12 r Cle Creegan 1202 z 0205-1300 17 r JAT Sex and the Single Spy 1304 z 0205-1330 17 * EFC Subterfuge 313 z 0205-1600 17 * SG1 The Fifth Race 215 z 0205-1700 29 TNG The Arsenal of Freedom 121 z 0205-1800 57 * Cle Flying Lessons 1205 z 0205-2000 17 * JAT The Floundering Father 1309 z 0205-2030 17 SG1 Thor's Chariot 206 s 0206-0400 29 * Sim Saddlesore Galactica 1109 s 0206-2000 fox * XF Sein und Zeit, part 1 710 s 0206-2100 fox Robot Wars s 0206-2330 12 r EFC Interview 311 s 0206-2330 17 * Buf The I In Team 413 t 0208-2000 wb * Ang She 113 t 0208-2100 wb * Dil The Off-Site Meeting 209 t 0208-2130 upn 7D (Premp'd by NHL) w 0209 * Ros Blind Date ... w 0209-2100 wb Upcoming episodes of STAR TREK VOYAGER: r Virtuoso 613 z 0129-1900 New. Retrospect 417 m 0131-1900 Arms dealer, Seven, memories. Vis-a-vis 420 t 0201-1900 Alien steals Paris' identity. Unforgettable 422 w 0202-1900 Alien claims asylum, Chakotay. * Memorial 614 w 0202-2100 New. Living Witness 423 r 0203-1900 Aliens try EMH for war crimes. Night 501 f 0204-1900 Cabin fever in dark nebula. r Memorial 614 z 0205-1900 Ibid. Extreme Risk 503 m 0207-1900 Build a ship, race to probe. Once Upon a Time 505 t 0208-1900 Naomi W's holobook, MIA mom. (Premp'd by NHL) w 0209 /** ***************************************************************** * SERIES ANALYSIS * "Back 2 Back Action" * "Cleopatra 2525" * "Jack of All Trades" * *************************************************************** */ Produced by Renaissance Pictures and Studios USA, "Cleopatra 2525" and "Jack of All Trades" are half-hour live-action series that together comprise "Back 2 Back Action," which replaces "Hercules." Each has its own title sequence and theme song, but the hour's first bumper features the original 1994 "Action Pack" musical sting. ("Action Pack" introduced Kevin Sorbo's Hercules as a series of telemovies, along with William Shatner's "TekWar" and the forgettable and unrelated-to-its-namesake "Knight Rider 2010.") See www.back2backaction.com for the usual puff publicity. Whereas "Cleo" looks to be halfway-serious SF, "JOAT" is pure farce. Like "Hercules" and "Xena" (and the currently-in- production "Lord of the Rings" movie) both series are filmed in New Zealand. As a fun game, try to identify all the props and sets "JOAT" reuses from the Greek series. The first episode of "Cleo" is reviewed below. "JOAT" will be covered in a later issue. /** ***************************************************************** * EPISODE SYNOPSIS & ANALYSIS * "Cleopatra 2525" * "Quest for Firepower" (Series Premiere) * TV-PG-V * *************************************************************** */ ** Opening Lyrics ** 500 years into the future, she will enter a world where machines rule the Earth. Mankind has been driven underground and Cleopatra is about to discover there's no place like home. In the year twenty-five twenty-five there are women with the will to survive, fighting for a brand new today, nothing's gonna get in their way. In the year twenty-five twenty-five three women keep hope alive, joining forces to reclaim the Earth, looking ahead, to humankind's rebirth. ** Synopsis ** A trio of futuristically-garbed figures -- two female, one male --clamber from a skewed hatchway into the ruins of the Sistine Chapel. With their gauntlets they blast a hole in the "Creation of Adam" fresco, the fire a Spider-man-like length of translucent adhesive climbing rope. Despite their orders, HEL (Gina Torres) is suddenly apprehensive about the ascent, a mission to test new personal shields; she protests to an unseen listener. The second woman, SARGE (Victoria Pratt) whispers to HORST (David Press) that she's addressing THE VOICE (Elizabeth Hawthorne), their reclusive leader. Sarge attributes Hel's "bad feeling" to simple jitters; it's her first foray onto the surface. They emerge from the chapel into a tree-rimmed meadow, and remove their tinted goggles. Sarge survives a wave of vertigo, then they deactivate their gauntlet-mounted jammers. With a loud thrum, a BAILEY appears over the treetrops. It's like a stalk of chrome broccoli, or a cyclopean brain wearing a boot. It evaluates them for a few moments, then extrudes a bevy of weapons limbs and opens fire. The trio's shields hold against the onslaught, and Hel executes the mission's second objective; she blasts loose one of the guns. During the Bailey's brief discomfiture they dive back through the hole. Downstairs, they notice Horst has sustained a leg wound -- and it's sparking. "You're a robot?" asks Sarge, disappointed. "A *betrayer* robot," Hel corrects, as Horst tosses away his gun and morphs his arms into blasters. In the ensuing firefight, the two humans manage to blast him aside, then dive down the hatchway -- into an empty shaft. They plummet downward calmly, then flip in mid-air and fire off webbing lines, gradually braking their fall. On a ledge, Hel examines a wound on Sarge's right side -- Horst took out her remaining kidney. "I can't believe he was a machine. Ow. Though that would explain a few things," she giggles. The Voice insists they bring the Bailey arm to The Lab, but Hel is adamant that Sarge be treated first. They stagger into the emporium of a CAT-FACED ORGAN VENDOR and his hissing SNAKE-HEADED PARTNER. They're in luck; he's just acquired a set of 21st-century frozen bodies, and is purring lasciviously over a white-wrapped blonde in the autosurgeon tube. (According to her attached record, she never awoke from anesthesia during an operation in 2001.) He demands payment: "What've you got? Drugs, tobacco, slaves?" He refuses their weapons gauntlets as "outdated" so (over Sarge's protestations) Hel parts with a small wooden cylinder from which she removes a photo (her husband? brother? son?). "You don't see wood much anymore," the cat says, satisfied, and leaves them with instructions while he goes to "the cat box." They pick a body with the appropriate blood type, shove the blonde aside, and the autosurgeon goes to work on Sarge. The procedure completed, the duo consider the blonde. "We can't leave her here for these ghouls. We're better off just killing her now; put her out of her misery." The awkening girl overhears, grabs the Bailey gun, starts quoting Clint Eastwood, and introduces herself as "Double-oh-eight, codename CLEOPATRA" (Jennifer Sky). Then Horst arrives, targeted on Sarge, and Cleo immediately drops all pretense of confidence when she notices the hole drilled through his belly. After one firefight, some Xena-esque wall-running stunts, a lot of screaming and evidence of the Voice's omniscience ("Hel! Sarge is in danger"), they escape. Cleo nearly falls down the shaft before Horst (unable to find them with their jammers activated) morphs into a featureless silver manikin and leaps down it. Cleo (suffering culture shock) loses it and attacks Sarge, falls over the edge and is rescued by her moments-ago target. She tells her story: two years studying acting at Glendale Community College, paying the bills as an exotic dancer under the stage name "Cleopatra." "A what?" asks Hel, ignorant of finer 20cen euphemisms. "A stripper, okay?" says Cleo acerbically, obviously embarrassed. For her part, Sarge doesn't understand the point of breast implant surgery. (Reverse culture shock. Ya gotta love it.) A little more web-swinging, and they pass through a holographic wall, into THE LAB, where Cleo meets the hunky MAUSER (Patrick Kane). "Down, girl," says Sarge, "He's a robot. Not even programmed for sex." Lecherously she adds: "Yet." Cleo asks after some new clothes to replace her "400-year-old gauze." "You're very concerned about the way you look, aren't you?" Sarge asks, and Cleo mimics the comment, then retorts: "like those exposed midriffs of yours are functional." Mauser announces that the Bailey gun is the most powerful weapon he's ever seen, and is ready to adapt it for standalone use when silver-Horst cuts through the formerly-holographic wall. It's still targeted on Sarge, and a fourth firefight ensues. While Mauser works on the gun, Hel has Cleo mimic Sarge's voice to distract it. Then they blow it to bits. Afterward, Cleo asks if they can just freeze her again, with a note to wake her when things get better. Hel somberly tells her that until the Bailies are defeated, they won't; that they're fighting for a better future. "All for one and one for all, eh?" the 21cen girl says. The others find that very apt and inspiring. Cleo smiles, "I've got a million of 'em." ** Story Analysis ** With a temporal setting of the 26th century, "Cleopatra 2525" is one of the furthest uptime (or downtime, depending which SF author you ask) series on TV. "Star Trek" is set in 23cen and 24cen, "Buck Rogers" in 25cen, and the "Battletech" cartoon in 30cen. Well, character roles (and audience-grabbing strategy) are pretty obvious. Hel is the serious leader-figure with a personal loss in her past. Sarge is a ready-to-rumble nymphomaniac. Cleopatra has a playful attitude and an endless supply of bewildering 20cen quotes and strategems. Mauser is the straight man, and The Voice will be exasperated from afar at their lack of discipline. Under Cleo's prompting, the girls will be forever swapping titillating girl- talk over physical attributes and fashion. I hope I'm wrong. ** Tech Analysis ** After only 22 minutes, it's difficult to say much about a new universe. We know the Bailies "invaded" but we don't know if they're aliens or domestic. We know they drove humanity underground, but we don't know how rapidly, or how large the cities are, or what sort of civilization survives. The presence of the Sistine Chapel and the recently-discovered 21cen corpsicles (as Larry Niven calls them) implies the large-scale submergence of entire buildings. We saw a cat-man and a snake-man, but we don't know their biological origin. Perhaps there was germ-line geneering performed pre-Bailey; maybe these were early anti-Bailey designs; perhaps the technology (still) exists for extreme cosmetic modifications ("body beppling" as Virgin's "Doctor Who New Adventures" novels call it). We saw humaniform robots, but are they centuries old, or still being manufactured? Human-robot sex is apparently possible, but we don't know the social mores regarding it. Cleo attended college in Glendale (California?); what transportation has occurred such that she's revived in the vicinity of the Vatican? Spoken English seems unchanged, but much of the social context has changed in the 524 years Cleo's been napping. The use of the line-shooting gauntlets recalls both the webbing of "Spider-Man" and the "self-guided induction ropes" of "Phantom 2040." Hel and Sarge slowed their descent gradually, rather than stopped instantly; that's a nice bit of physical realism by the writers. The vertigo experienced by Hel upon surfacing could be the expected agoraphobia; but why did the trio remove their goggles immediately after exiting the hole? Organ transplantation is highly advanced if a couple of novices can select a donor with a matching blood type, then let an autosurgeon do the rest. The "gauze" dress and booties worn by Cleo were about as plausible as the "thermal bandages" applied to Leeloo in "The Fifth Element." Horst the "betrayer robot" could morph its arms and discarded its human guise to become a silver manikin; it didn't have the shapeshifting ability of the "T-1000" from "Terminator II" but it did carry energy weapons. Although the Bailey had no visible vertical thrust mechanism, it wasn't necessarily using the standard SF conceit of antigravity; it may have been magnetically levitating over megatons of subterranean steel-framed buildings. /** ***************************************************************** * ERRATA * *************************************************************** */ The listing for "Earth: Final Conflict" for sun-23-jan-2000- 23:30 was incorrect; it was 3-- "The Once and Future World" (as one would expect from precedent) and not 311 "Interview" (as tv.excite.com claimed). The listing for "Roughnecks" for fri-28-jan-2000 was incorrect; it changed from 123 "Hot Ice" to 114 "Captured". For "Roswell Conspiracies," I've been misspelling character names. It's General Rinaker (not Renniker), Sh'laiin Blaze (not Shlayne Blaise), and Nema (not Neman). (From the Fall 1999 _Toon_) For "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century," I seem to have been misnumbering episodes because FoxKids didn't show them in order this fall; at least according to the episode guide in the Fall 1999 issue of _Toon_. /** ***************************************************************** * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *************************************************************** */ All books, movies, television shows, toys and other creative works reviewed or analyzed herein are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 1999 by Phillip Thorne. Certain data may have been obtained from aint-it-cool-news.com, foxkids.com, roughneckchronicles.com, tv.excite.com, upcomingmovies.com, and/or other sites and hardcopy periodicals. You're receiving this newsletter because you've specifically subscribed to it; or you're getting a trial issue because you're a friend, former classmate and/or former or current coworker of Phillip Thorne. To continue your subscription (issue 2.4 and onwards), send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "SUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" or 'subscribe nonsequitur' in the subject line and/or body. To stop subscribing, s/subscribe/unsubscribe/ig. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter. /** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * Volume 2, Issue 3: Saturday 29 January 2000 * Copyright 2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */