/** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * Usually accurate, occasionally timely. * Published at fortnightly or random intervals by Phillip Thorne * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * * Volume 2, Issue 6: Sunday, 12 March 2000 * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */ In this issue: OBSERVATIONS: Premier(e)s, Sesame Trauma. UPCOMING: Heads Up, Animation, Primetime, Voyager. ANALYSIS: The XLVII Files. SOMNABULATIONS: Lightspeed genetic telecomm espionage! ERRATA: Roughnecks, Max Steel, The 10th Kingdom. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. /** ***************************************************************** * OBSERVATIONS * *************************************************************** */ A "premiere" (with a terminal "e") is the first public performance of a creative work. A "premier" (without) is the head of a government body, or a thing that is first in rank. One of the current discussions on news:alt.religion.kibology is: what sketches from "Sesame Street" caused you severe emotional trauma as a child? Current votes include: the Twiddlebugs, that weird junky robot with the proto-Alpha-5 saucer head, the aliens that go "meep meep meepmeepmeepmeepmeep" and imitate telephones, the fact that Slimy the Worm is actually felty, the animated Peter Max-style pinball machine that counted to twelve, and the counting grids of bink-bink-bink-bink-THUD. /** ***************************************************************** * UPCOMING * Series, Seasons, Episodes, Movies, Books * *************************************************************** */ The "Roughnecks" fan website www.roughneckchronicles.com continues to add new content, including interviews with the creators. The "Order of Battle" section is now open, with details of most of the people, weapons, vehicles and Bug species from the series. Bewarned, it's unreadable without DHTML, and the images are RealVideo screengrabs. It appears the Sci-Fi Channel has begun airing "Roughnecks" early, Monday through Thursday at 07:30. In fact, they seem to have the entire BKN lineup -- "Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys," "Extreme Ghostbusters," "Mummies Alive!," "Monster Rancher," "Double Dragon," "Rambo" and "Street Sharks" (in order of increasing yuck-factor). (Now, how both FoxKids and BKN managed to buy "Monster Rancher"...) The penultimate chapter of Eyrie Productions' "Neon Exodus Evangelion," Chapter 3:8 "Ignie Ferroque," is now available at www.eyrie.net/NXE/nxe3-8.txt . The final chapter is due to be released 1 April. NBC's new animated primetime series, "God, the Devil, and Bob" (symbol: GDB) has its "sneak preview" on Thursday 9 March at 20:30. Its official premiere is Tuesday 14 March. It's been rumored around my office that UPN's animated "Dilbert" is kaput, but that the final episode will be aired over the Web. (Time to invest in internet infrastructure companies, I suppose.) "Mission to Mars", the Touchstone (Disney) SF film that can't decide what it is judging from the trailers and TV spots, opens on Friday 10 March. The other two Mars films are WB's "Red Planet" (10 November, formerly 16 June, formerly formerly 31 March) and Screen Gems' (Columbia's) "Ghosts of Mars" (TBA). Official site: studio.go.com/m2m/ . [Via upcomingmovies.com.] "X", the 1996 anime from Clamp Studios (maker of "Tokyo Babylon" and "Magic Knights Rayearth") is arriving in the US via Manga Entertainment. Plans are for a limited release (NYC and LA) on 24 March, to be progressively widened in April and May. (It's the same strategy as their prior US releases, "Ghost in the Shell" and "Pacific Blue.") The plot involves two groups of seven personalities-drawn-in-greys combatants (plus one wild card); one fights for Earth, the other for the universe's improvement via Earth's destruction. See: www.manga.com/x_x . [Via Corona Coming Attractions.] "Terminus," the long-awaited space sim/combat/RPG from PC game developer Vicarious Visions, is due to be gold-mastered on 1 April. The game's been in development since the summer of 1996, and though I've not contributed since May 1998, a few of my designs are still apparent. Read more about it at www.vvisions.com/terminus/ or www.stationterminus.com . The official website for the Alliance-Atlantis/Zyntopo production of Anne McCaffrey's "Dragonriders of Pern" (www.pern.net) hasn't been updated in months, but if the timeline is still accurate, it's been filming since February and is aiming to premiere with the Fall 2000 TV season. New Line Cinema's version of J.R.R.Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" cycle is currently filming in New Zealand. "The Fellowship of the Ring" is scheduled for a Christmas 2000 release, with "The Two Towers" and "The Return of the King" following in Summer and Christmas 2001. See www.TheOneRing.net, www.TheOneRing.com, and the official www.LordOfTheRings.net . [Via Corona Coming Attractions.] Upcoming Non-Primetime Animated TV: * RSTC Requiem 75/135 m 0313 * RSTC Funeral For a Friend 81/136 t 0314 * RSTC Spirits of the Departed 82/137 w 0315 2 RSTC Checkmate 71/130 r 0316 * RSTC Hide 'N' Seek 74/134 f 0317 2 RSTC Mixed Signals 52/122 m 0320 3 RSTC The Inside Story 54/124 t 0321 3 RSTC Metamorphosis 61/126 w 0322 * RSTC Trackers 71/131 r 0323 3 RSTC The Face of Truth 35/115 f 0324 3 RSTC Betrayal 31/111 m 0327 2 RSTC The Ice Men Goeth 55/125 t 0328 2 RSTC Hide 'N' Seek 74/134 w 0329 * RSTC Court-Martial of Lt.Razak --- r 0330 3 RSTC D-Day 62/127 f 0331 CSSM Mind Over Monkey 114 s 0319-1130 48 CSSM Monkey Puzzle Man 115 s 0326-1130 48 CSSM The Planet of the Humans 116 s 0402-1130 48 Upcoming Primetime (etc.) TV: r Fut I Second That Emotion 201 s 0312-1900 fox r Sim Beyond Blunderdome 1023 s 0312-2000 fox * XF Theef 714 s 0312-2100 fox r Buf Something Blue 409 t 0314-2000 wb * SAM Back to School 102 t 0314-2000 upn * GDB Andy Runs Away 102 t 0314-2030 nbc * FGy Love Thy Trophy 113 t 0314-2030 fox r Ang Parting Gifts 110 t 0314-2100 wb r 7D Walk Away 206 w 0315-2000 upn r Ros River Dog 106 w 0315-2100 wb N+A (Pr'emp'd) f 0317 r SG1 Secrets 209 z 0318-1500 29 r EFC A Little Bit of Heaven 307 z 0318-1600 17 r Cle Quest for Firepower 1201 z 0318-2000 17 r JAT Return of the Dragoon 1301 z 0318-2030 17 * Fut A Bicyclops Built for Two 209 s 0319-1900 fox * Sim Bart to the Future 1113 s 0319-2000 fox * XF En Ami 715 s 0319-2100 fox r Buf Hush 410 t 0321-2000 wb * GDB Date from Hell 103 t 0321-2030 nbc * FGy Death is a Bitch 114 t 0321-2030 fox r Ang Somnabulist 111 t 0321-2100 wb * 7D The Cuban Missile 216 w 0322-2000 upn r Ros Blood Brother 107 w 0322-2100 wb Upcoming episodes of STAR TREK VOYAGER: State of Flux 111 m 0313-1900 Crew traitor gives Kazon tech. Heroes and Demons 112 t 0314-1900 Photonic aliens, holovikings. Cathexis 113 w 0315-1900 Chakotay's mind, neuroaliens. * Good Shepherd 619 w 0315-2100 New. Faces 114 r 0316-1830 Vidiian slaves, two Torres. Jetrel 115 f 0317-1900 Guilty scientist tricks Neelix. r Good Shepherd 619 z 0318-1900 Ibid. Learning Curve 116 m 0320-1900 Tuvok teaches Maquis. Projections 203 t 0321-1900 Doc deluded, his own creator? Elogium 204 w 0321-1900 Kes must become pregnant! 2 Barge of the Dead 603 w 0321-2100 Torres save mom from hell. Twisted 206 r 0322-1900 Ship and Janeway go all woobly. /** ***************************************************************** * SERIES ANALYSIS * The XLVII Files: Instances of the number "47" on "Star Trek" * *************************************************************** */ It's become something of a game among detail-oriented "Star Trek" fans to watch for instances of the number "47" (or variations thereof); we're convinced that the substring occurs more often than the 1% elementary probability would suggest. The following are appearances I have personally verified; others are cited on Phil Farrand's Nitpickers Guild website, www.nitcentral.com . In 103 "Parallax," the EMH asks Janeway to open Monitor Input 47, the Emergency Medical Holograph channel, and states to Kes that he embodies the experience of 47 separate medical officers. In 105 "Phage" Neelix's lungs are stolen, and the EMH estimates a blood gas infuser can sustain him for another 47 minutes. Later, chasing the Vidiian organ thieves into a mirrored asteroid, _Voyager_ detects their ship 547 meters away. In 109 "Emanations" they discover the 247th chemical element in a planetary ring system. In 116 "Learning Curve" the ship's bioneural gelpacks are infected by a cheeseborne bacteriophage; they only have 47 in reserve. In 203 "Projections" the EMH suffers a delusion that he's his own programmer, and the _Voyager_ crew is merely a holosimulation; their character files are stored in "memory block 47-alpha." In 213 "Prototype" B'elanna encounters Pralor Automated Personnel Unit 3947 (also called 3497). In 220 "Investigations" she issues "engineering authorization omega-4-7." In 221 "Deadlock" the crew attempts to contact their duplicates, signalling 5 times on 47 different frequencies. In 302 "Flashback" the _Excelsior_ (according to Tuvok's memory) suffers a hull breach on deck 12, section 47. While under attack in 314 "Alter Ego," their shields fall to 47%. In 322 "Real Life" they detect an astral eddy at heading 047-mark-19. At a senior crew meeting in 324 "Worse Case Scenario" Tuvok's "Insurrection Alpha" holoprogram is reported to have been accessed 47 times by 33 different crewmembers, and he later issues "security clearance Tuvok 4-7-7-4." In 326 "Scorpion" the Borg are under attack by a race designated Species 8472. One of the many log entries made in 408 "Year of Hell" is dated Day 47. In 411 "Concerning Flight" the ship's main computer processor (capable of monitoring 47 million simultaneous data channels) is stolen, and is found in a warehouse 4.7 kilometers outside an alien city. /** ***************************************************************** * SOMNABULATIONS * Slightly fictionalized chronicles of my somnolent excursions * Lightspeed genetic telecomm espionage! * *************************************************************** */ I'm the new Green Lightspeed Rescue Ranger (not to be confused with Chip & Dale's version), and the team is busy suppressing a fire on the upper levels of a skyscraper. Lightspeed's CO, Captain Mitchell, is elated because we're rescuing people from the one-hundredth floor, five times higher than conventional firefighting equipment can reach. Down on the street, the female president of a genetic engineering firm (a tenant of those upper floors) and her cosmetically-lizard- faced staff fret about their genetic samples. Not to worry; the yellow ranger arrives with the liquid nitrogen-cooled canister. For our subsequent R&R, we're searching for a good grassy vantage point to lie back and watch the sky, driving along in our five-seat dune buggy (which has replaced the humvee). We stop just before crossing a bridge, and I make the obvious suggestion we pull onto the gravel shoulder so as not to obstruct traffic. (Obvious to most people; my teammates are surprisingly dense at the worst times.) We get out, and the other four Rangers express their reservations to me about falling asleep. Theorizing that heat and hayfever medication has made them drowsy, I reassure them that I'll stay awake. Oh no! I fell asleep! Awakening, I find the other Rangers gone and Vypra (the most humanoid of the demons besieging Mariner Bay) ready for combat. We parry with swords for a few moments, then I duck away and contact the Lightspeed Aquabase on my morpher. Later, undercover and in civvies, I'm eavesdropping on an evil conspiracy, posing as a gardener. Using my broom, I place an audio bug on the front door of their house. Deep Space Nine security chief Odo, morphed into a frog and clinging to the wall, listens from another angle. We then sneak off down the sidewalk to discuss our findings. Odo-frog's managed to retrieve a computer chip used by the conspiracy, still in its plastic packaging; I'm about to inspect it when the ringleader, the president of the aforementioned geneering company, walks over. "Oh! That's one of yours, isn't it?" I stammer, gesturing at the chip on the pavement. "I wonder how that got here?" I hope she doesn't notice Odo-frog, since an amphibian obviously doesn't belong on a sunbaked sidewalk. He hops across the street and into a storm drain. The CEO's suspicions successfully allayed, I follow Odo. That entire side of the street is torn up for telecomm improvements, slabs of jagged black pavement tilted into the sky. The debris is covered by a menagerie of sinuous animals -- snakes, octopi, brittle stars -- all molded in inert blue and mauve plastic. It's Odo, morphed into multiple bodies and tapping the comm lines. A worker crosses the plank bridge that spans the gaping hole and tries to enter the building behind me, but the ledge on which I'm standing is too narrow for him to open the door without forcing me off. I scrunch up against the wall and inadvertently trigger an alarm panel. No, wait -- it just calls hotel room service. I'm merely embarrassed, not liable. Shortly afterward, Major Kira Nerys of the Bajoran Militia is transporting Odo back to DS9, recently reclaimed from the Cardassians. She prattles on that the retreating forces scrambled the station computer's OS but not its comm logs, so they should be able to correlate with Odo's findings. She docks her boxy SICON HALO dropship onto the overhead gantry projecting into the Promenade. /** ***************************************************************** * ERRATA * *************************************************************** */ I obtain the airing schedule of "Roughnecks" from roughneckchronicles.com, but it tends to change halfway through the month. Several listings in issue 2.5 proved inaccurate. I've loaded the revised schedule into this issue. Oops! One reader notifies me that NBC's "The 10th Kingdom" was actually a 5-episode, 10-hour miniseries; the final segments aired Sunday and Monday 5-6 March. A second reader notes that the first episodes of KidsWB's new CGI series, "Max Steel," are animated by Netter Digital Entertainment (NDEI), which succeeded Foundation Imaging (FI) on "Babylon 5" after the latter moved to "Star Trek: Voyager;" they also produce "Voltron: The Third Dimension." Later episodes will be animated by FI. He also clarified that "Total Recall 2070," like "StarGate SG-1" originally a Showtime production, is now syndicated and renewed for a second season in syndication. /** ***************************************************************** * Legalese * Acknowledgments * Opt-in/out Instructions * *************************************************************** */ All books, movies, television shows, toys and other creative works reviewed or analyzed herein are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 1999 by Phillip Thorne. Certain data may have been obtained from aint-it-cool-news.com, corona.bc.ca/films/ (Corona Upcoming Attractions), foxkids.com, roughneckchronicles.com, tv.excite.com, upcomingmovies.com, and/or other sites and hardcopy periodicals. If you're receivng this newsletter, you've probably consciously subscribed to it. To cancel your subscription , send an email message to pethorne@earthlink.net with the words "UNSUBSCRIBE NON- SEQUITUR" or 'unsubscribe nonsequitur' in the subject line and/or body. Capitalization and punctuation don't matter. /** ***************************************************************** * ****************************************************************** * The Non-Sequitur Express * http://home.earthlink.net/~pethorne/Reviewer/NonSeqExp/ * Volume 2, Issue 6: Sunday, 12 March 2000 * Copyright 2000 Phillip Thorne, pethorne@earthlink.net * ****************************************************************** * *************************************************************** */