/* *************************************************************************** ** *************************************************************************** ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** Published at random intervals by Phillip Thorne ** Volume 3, Issue 5: Tuesday, 12 June 2001 ** http://nsx.underbase.org/ ** ** They say travel broadens the mind; ** better than, on a plane, than a broad behind. ** *************************************************************************** ** ************************************************************************ */ OBSERVATIONS & C: Graphemic puns, usabilities, video cables and rare earths. ERRATA & O+A+A: "Kids' WB", song titles, TAS, Robert April, Vgr:720, ST:E. CONV REVIEW: Balticon 35 masquerade. UPCOMING: Summer and fall TV for Fox, UPN, WB, TNT, SFC. plus Legalese, acknowledgements and opt-in/out instructions. http://nsx.underbase.org/ - back issues http://nsx.underbase.org/index_plus.htm - synopses, reviews, analyses, etc. http://nsx.underbase.org/tv/ - Philadelphia TV listings http://www.underbase.org/ - additional databases /* *************************************************************************** ** OBSERVATIONS & COGITATIONS ** Graphemic puns ** Post-obvious usability features ** Component video cables and the rare earth elements ** Today's masthead ** ************************************************************************ */ Writing is a form of both language and drawing, and if given a sufficiently rich visual environment, graphemic puns become possible. Consider three examples of adapting the Roman numeral "III". The upcoming film "Jurassic Park ///", in which it's expressed as a triad of claw-slashes. The Intel "Pentium !!!" processor, in which a triple bang (typesetter's lingo for "exclamation point") extols the CPU's sensational power. The "Sol ]I[ laser satellite" as spelled in an "Undocumented Features" fanfic, with the square brackets accentuating the horizontal bars of the trigraph. (This last example varies in its success according to the font used.) I sometimes see really obvious, but simple, usability features on products. (Or "post-obvious", since I didn't think of them first; hindsight is 20/20, sayeth Epimethius if the ancient Greeks had spectacles.) A pair of sunglasses with a pen-style spring clip on the right earpiece, to better fit in a pocket. A roll of plastic bags (as found in supermarket produce sections) in the gym locker room, in which to carry soggy items. And you know how the drawstrings on sweatpants always manage to retreat inaccessibly into their channel, like deep-sea tubeworms? I bought a pair the other day in which the two ends are joined, forming a closed loop that can't escape. (Topologists call a closed loop a "knot", tangled or not; an open string is an "unknot".) *** I recently bought a set of pricey component video cables (ie they don't force the TV to disentangle the NTSC signal) to connnect my new TV and newer DVD, and the package extols their "oxygen-free copper cores". This sounds like marketing fluff, but if I remember my chemistry correctly, rogue oxides *do* impede electrical conductivity in metals. On the other hand, they're essential in high-temperature ceramic superconductors, eg yttrium barium copper oxide (YBaCuO). The "rare-earth elements" yttrium, along with ytterbium, terbium and erbium, are all named after the town near the quarry in which they were found: Ytterby (near Vaxholm) in Swedeland. The following is from www.webelements.com, an online periodic table that provides detailed chemical information on the 118 known elements, plus history, uses, foreign names, and pronunciations; there's also a version for your PalmPilot. YTTRIUM (Y 39) was discovered in 1794 by Johann Gadolin (Finland) in the lanthanoid mineral gadolinite, found in a quarry in Ytterby, Sweden. It can be used as a red phosphor in TV screens. ERBIUM (Er 68) was eventually isolated from gadolinite, starting with Carl Mosander (Sweden) in 1842. He separated a component oxide, yttria (Y2O3), into three fractions, which he dubbed yttria, terbia and erbia. Terbia was later redubbed erbia, and erbia itself was subfractioned into the oxides erbia, holmia (Ho 67), scandia (Sc 21), thulia (Tm 69) and ytterbia. Erbium-doped optical fibers regenerate 1550nm IR signals; erbium oxide is pink and is used in glasses and porcelain glazes. (Erbium starred in Carl Sagan's novel _Contact_, but not the 1997 movie.) TERBIUM (Tb 65) was isolated in 1843 by Carl Mosander. It can be used as a green phosphor in TV screens, and to dope semiconductors; sodium terbium borate lases at 546nm (greenish). YTTERBIUM (Yb 70) was eventually isolated from the oxide erbia , starting with Jean de Marignac (Switzerland) in 1878. It was later separated (in 1907 by Urbain) into neoytterbia (now ytterbium) and lutecia (now lutetium, Lu 71). *** Today's masthead concisely acknowledges that today's commercial airliner seating is not designed for people with physical parameters exceeding some arbitrary 90th percentile derived from US Army recruits in the 1940s. After all, that part of the anatomy is called the seat because we... sit on it. Except in countries where it's customary to kneel instead. Does Japan have a greater or lesser incidence of knee injuries, I wonder? /* *************************************************************************** ** ERRATA & OMISSIONS, ADDENDA & ADMISSIONS ** s/KidsWB/Kids' WB/g ** Concatenated song titles ** "Star Trek" series abbreviations ** Robert April in ST:TAS ** ST:Vgr:"Friendship One" is 720. ** ST:E promos ** ************************************************************************ */ In multiple issues, I've spelled the cartoon broadcast arm of Warner Bros., properly spelled "Kids' WB", as "KidsWB". *** Last week's masthead concatenated four song titles: Timbuk3's "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades", Corey Hart's 1983 "I wear my sunglasses at night", Thomas Dolby's "She blinded me with science", and Oingo Boingo's theme to the movie (1985) and TV series (1994-97) "Weird Science". Details found at: http://www.cdnow.com/ --search by artist, song, album, video, etc. http://uic.globe.com.ph/grimrod/ca-lyrics/main-lyrics.htm --Grimrodian's "New Wave Lyrics". http://www.crosswinds.net/~mightybrown/lyrics/lyrics.html --Jennifer R. Laron's 80s lyrics. http://gunther.simplenet.com/v/toc.htm --Gunther Anderson's "V - The Fifth Edition" lyrics collection. http://members.aol.com/Oxym0r0n99/lyrix.html --Oxymoron's "Greatest '80s Lyrics". http://supervr.com/snow/v2/lyrics.htm --lyrics collected by some unrenderable Japanese author. http://www.canoe.com/JamMusicPopEncycloPages/home.html --"Jam! Music's" "Canadian Music Encyclopedia", 1200 artists from 1950s on, with detailed biographies and discographies. *** In Issue 3.4-Upcoming Series, I used some abbreviations without predeclaring them. To wit, when the namespace is "Star Trek": TOS=The Original Series, TAS=The Animated Series, TNG=The Next Generation, DS9=Deep Space 9, Vgr=Voyager, and ST:E=Enterprise. AND... I was unclear as to the role of Cpt.Robert April in ST:TAS. He merely *visited* Kirk's command in "The Counter-Clock Incident". Kirk was captain; the original cast (save Walter Koenig/Chekov) served as voice actors. TAS is usually considered to chronicle the latter two years of the _Enterprise's_ five-year mission, (as seen in TOS) -- specifically, its *fourth* mission. Christopher Pike (TOS:"The Cage") would have commanded the second and third missions, and April the first -- which is detailed in the Diane Carey novel _Final Frontier_. Although TAS is listed on startrek.com's Library page with the other four series and movies, Paramount isn't sure whether to declare it canonical, in whole or part -- eg, what to do with the Kzin? When SF writer Larry Niven wrote "The Slaver Weapon", he transplanted the felinoid aliens from his "Known Space" series. Paramount would also have to acknowledge the _SS Bonaventure_ as the first human starship equipped with warp drive ("The Time Trap"). Curt Danhauser has written a comprehesive guide to TAS at: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Stargate/3751/Main_x.html AND... I labeled Vgr:"Friendship One" as episode 721 of ST:Vgr. In fact, it's ep 720 (ie, season 7, ep 20). AND... For the past several weeks, UPN has been airing promo spots (at least three types) for ST:E; they now make clear that "2001-2002 season" means "fall 2001" (not January, in which month DS9 and Vgr premiered). "Before Janeway and Picard... before Spock and Kirk... there was Enterprise." "Before Janeway and Picard... before Sisko, Spock and Kirk... there was Enterprise." "The first crew to [...] The final frontier has a new beginning. This fall on UPN." /* *************************************************************************** ** CONVENTION REVIEW ** Balticon 35 ** Masquerade ** ************************************************************************ */ Mundanes (ie non-fen, ie non-fans, ie people who don't attend conventions) may be aware of SF/fantasy costuming only in the context of badly-sewn Starfleet uniforms and Klingon foreheads. While there are a few of those visible at any "literature" con (one devoted primarily to books and authors, unlike "media cons" focusing on TV, films and actors), they're far outnumbered by SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism)-style historical recreations, plus original creations. The masquerade at Balticon (as at most) is one of the biggest events and is staged on Saturday night; Balticon arranges video overflow seating in the anime room. Even so, few people are willing to perform on-stage; plenty of other "hall costumes" are visible during the weekend. The lights go down. The strains of Richard Strauss's 1896 "Also Sprach Zarathustra" (aka "Also Spoke Zoroaster"), the theme to "2001: A Space Odyssey" emerge, rendered in kazoo and sawblade. Colored spotlights dance across the backdrop. The emcee enters, clad in vampirically elegant tuxedo with brooch at neck, and attempts to whistle-signal a "stop!" through his fangs. He begins with a speech about the RIF (Reading Is Fundamental) auction Balticon runs each year at the masquerade halftime (Baltimore being the self-proclaimed "city that reads"), laments the federal government's cancellation of the program, and urges us to check www.rif.org and write our representatives. He then introduces the five judges: four presentation and one workmanship -- the latter catches all those fiddly details that aren't visible to the audience. Balticon's masquerade is run according to the rules of the International Costumers' Guild (www.costume.org), which describes four divisions: Young Fan, Novice, Journeyman and Master; based on age and number of wins in prior ICG shows. This year's show had 17 competing entries (3, 9, 4, 1), plus 2 "not in competition". Most were set to music, used explanatory narration by the emcee, or were arranged as skits; this wasn't some "runway" fashion show. YOUNG FANS DIVISION 01. "The evil voting booth" Two people. Man goes to voting booth with legs, and is attacked by a pterodactyl head that emerges from the curtains. 02. "Death as a child" From Neil Gaiman's "Sandman". 04. "Trinity at the ball" From "The Matrix". Girl with purple hair, in black leather/vinyl gown. NOVICE DIVISION 03. "Strange visitor" 05. "The second Romana " From "Doctor Who". Kara Dennison (voice actress for White Radish Studios) enters in white dress, multicolored scarf, red floppy hat, and blonde wig. She has some notes for con attendees: Daleks at the convention are asked to please use the stairs, and the blue box in the parking lot is *not* a phone booth. "We do have a phone, but we don't have the time to show you where it is." 06. "Scottish clan" Three people in tartans and kilts. 08. "An entrant in the expo" Narration explains this is Dr.Gene Splicer's entry in the genetics expo: a girl enters in short ragged skirt, with bare feet, green blotches in skin, and a giant mosquito grafted to her back. 09. "Where's the Snitch?" From _Harry Potter_. A boy in robes sits on a broom and catches the Golden Snitch from a fishline. 10. "Full circle" A figure in blue "2001" spacesuit enters stage left and approaches a monolith, which displays swirling lights on a screen. TV theme songs start playing, and the figure reels in pain. He pulls off the helmet and -- he's a gorilla. --This won best-in-show, a rare honor for a Novice entry. The backpack was folded cardboard and the helmet papier-mache. 12. "A merchant of Florence" Female in Renaissance gown. 13. "Three hour tour" A highborn elf lady in black gown goes on a three-hour tour, meets a Klingon, and they dance. The emcee makes note of workmanship: the elf's name badge includes her name in English, barcode, and Tengwar (an elf language created by J.R.R.Tolkien for his books). 15. "Garden angel" Female. JOURNEYMAN DIVISION 07. "Imperial swordsman" Teen male in black hat, red Chinese-style jacket with black sash, over black pants; performs stylized sword-dance to music, with ribbons trailing from the hilt. 14. "The Klingon Riverdance" Three girls in black dresses with silver trim (and applique ornaments such as blood-dripping bat'leths) dance. Two of them start fighting with daggers, then stab the third. Narrated. 16. "A Chinese lady" Female. Recreation of 11cen Ching-dynasty gown. 17. "Wings and things" Two teen females. A white pegasus-humanoid enters, glitter on her face, and spreads her wings. A surly black unicorn-humanoid follows. Both have hooves on hands and feet. --I spoke to the girls afterward, and learned that the wings were on a backpack (the most comfortable part of the costume, she said) actuated by braided fishing line run down to her waist, then to her hands; it's invisible on stage, and a simple movement of her arms triggers the mechanism. MASTER DIVISION 11. "The lady of the lake" Female in gown holds forth sword as music plays. NOT IN COMPETITION 17a. "Baldor, champion of Mirador" Male in plate armor. 18. "Freelance combat unit 875-Z: the H-Mercs" "Everybody loves that purple dinosaur--" the emcee begins, then is handed a note by a female figure in hulking blue space power armor. As he reads off their qualifications and rates, the other three members of the unit enter and clomp around, golden-tinted visors down, three with space-rifles and one toting a massive rotary cannon. This final entry was jaw-dropping impressive, and at the post-masquerade open house I spoke to the maker, one BRIAN HEALY, professional plastic vacuuformer. In fact, he ran a workshop at last year's Balticon, explaining the technique of heating a sheet of plastic until soft, then fitting it to a mold with vacuum-induced air pressure. This quartet was just a teaser; there will be *seven* suits at the upcoming Worldcon in Philadelphia this August. He's ben approached by people interested in custom armor, but after he explains the process (fitting, carving forms, making molds from the forms, then making parts to the molds) and the ~$12,000 price tag for the first unit, he never hears from them again. WORKMANSHIP WINNERS Novice, honorable mention: Where's the Snitch Novice, best handiwork: Scottish clan Novice, best fixed wing: Garden angel Workmanship, wing: Wings and things Workmanship, insane hand sewing: Klingon riverdance Workmanship, best in show: Full circle PRESENTATION WINNERS Young fan, best interpretation: ??? Young fan, best in class: The evil voting booth Novice, honorable mention: Strange visitor Novice, cross culturization: Three hour tour Novice, most humorous: The second Romana Novice, most beautiful: Garden angel Novice, best in class: Full circle Journeyman, for equine enmity: Wings and things Journeyman, most serene: A Chinese lady Journeyman, best choreographed: Imperial swordsman Journeyman, ???: Klingon riverdance Journeyman, most lovely: Lady of the lake Best of show: Full circle /* *************************************************************************** ** UPCOMING ** Summer schedules: UPN, WB, SFC, TNT ** Fall schedules: Fox, UPN, WB ** ************************************************************************ */ Summer (by day) Day Net 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 Mon WB Angel........ Tue UPN 7 Days....... 7 Days....... Tue TNT Witchblade... Wed UPN ST:Vgr....... ST:Vgr....... Wed WB Buffy........ Thu WB Charmed...... Fri SFC B5........... Invisible.... Farscape..... Lexx.......... Sat SFC First Wave... Chronicle.... Outer Limits.. Fall (by day) Day Net 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 Sun Fox Fut... KotH.. Sim... X-Files..... Mon WB Angel........ Tue UPN Buffy........ Tue WB GilGirls..... Smallville... Wed Fox FFC... Wed UPN SU2.......... ST:E......... Wed WB Felicity..... Thu Fox FGuy.. Tick.. Thu WB Charmed...... Fri Fox DkA.......... Fall (by net) Day Net 19:00 19:30 20:00 20:30 21:00 21:30 22:00 23:00 Sun Fox Fut... KotH.. Sim... X-Files..... Wed Fox FFC... Thu Fox FGuy.. Tick.. Fri Fox DkA.......... *** Tue UPN Buffy........ Wed UPN SU2.......... ST:E......... *** Mon WB Angel........ Tue WB GilGirls..... Smallville... Wed WB Felicity..... Thu WB Charmed...... FOX (wtxf-29) [www.foxtv.com]... fall lineup available online. Sunday nights are unchanged, with the return of the animated "Futurama" (Fut, season 4 = s4), "King of the Hill" (KotH, s6), and "The Simpsons" (Sim, s13); plus "The X-Files" (XF, s9) and "Malcolm in the Middle" (MitM, which is bizarre but not SF). Wed-20:00 has the "Fox Family Comedy" half-hour, which will randomly feature repeats of {Sim, MitM, "That '70s Show"}. Thursday features two half-hour comedies, with "Family Guy" (FGuy, animated) returning from whatever hole it crawled into, plus the long-delayed premiere of "The Tick" (live-action). "Dark Angel" (DkA, s2) moves from tue-21:00 to fri-20:00. "Futurama" merchandising now includes a line of action figures; the _Planetary Express_ spaceship (with articulated landing gear) aparently counts as a "figure", because it's packaged in the same style of blister card. Set in Quahog, Rhode Island, "Family Guy" features an obese man who works at a toy company run by an flamboyantly gay man. It should not be confused with toy company Hasbro, located in Rhode Island and run by a reserved gay man, or with "The Simpsons", which features an obese man who works at a nuclear power plant run by a man whose assistant is very carefully contrived to be almost-but-are-we-quite-sure-maybe gay. "The Tick", based on the comic by Ben Edlund (but not the FoxKids cartoon c.1995) features Patrick Warburton as the blue-clad small-headed arachnid-themed eponymous superhero, with David Burke Arthur as moth- shaped accountant-turned-sidekick ARTHUR, Nestor Carbonell as BATMANUEL and Liz Vassey as CAPTAIN LIBERTY. (What, something was wrong with the names Die Fleidermaus and American Maid?) No, I've never heard of these actors either. UPN (wpsg-57) [www.upn.com]... summer schedule available online, but not fall. "7 Days" (7D) will air twice every Tuesday night, and "Voyager" (Vgr) will air twice every Wednesday. The rest of their recent schedule is "currently on hiatus", including "All Souls" (an evil hospital), "Celebrity Deathmatch" and "Gary and Mike" (both clay mayhem), "Freedom", (former Special Forces fight military leaders of US- dystopia), "Level 9" (Lv9, secret government hackers), and "Special Unit 2" (SU2, secret Chicago PD anti-monster unit). "Freedom" shouldn't be confused with Fox's "Dark Angel" (another near- future economic dystopia) or Fox's short-lived "Harsh Realm" by Chris Carter (in which a military leader controls a VR world). "Special Unit 2" shouldn't be confused with the AMP (Advanced Mystification Police) of the anime "Silent Mobius". Other sources indicate that ST:E will premiere wed-26-sep, SU2 returns on wed-3-oct, and "Buffy" s6 appears tue-9-oct. [www.aint-it-cool- news.com via www.trektoday.com] The WB (wphl-17) [www.thewb.com]... partial summer lineup, fall lineup available online. "Buffy" spinoff-and-survivor "Angel" (Ang) moves from tue-21:00 to mon-21:00, starting right now. "Gilmore Girls" and "Felicity" return (they're not SF, but there are NSX readers who are viewers). New series "Smallville" covers Clark Kent's life in the eponymous town before he became Superman, opposite Lex Luthor and Lana Lang (parents killed by the crash of his ship) -- teen angst; perfect WB fodder. "Charmed" (Chm) returns for a fourth season; sure, one of the sisters is dead, destroying the Power of Three; the survivors will simply locate a fourth sibling they never knew existed. Like, duh. This summer, the new series "Dead Last" gets a TBA-slot; it features a rock band stuck with an amulet that lets them interact with the dead -- or rather, vice versa; and they can't dissuade the stream of wayward spirits looking for help. It shouldn't be confused with Eric Idle's 1980s sitcom "Nearly Departed", or the quantum superposition of the Hanna-Barbera cartoons "Josie and the Pussycats" (a quasi-teen rock band) and "Scooby Doo" (quasi-teen quasi-ghost detectives). Waiting for a 2001-midseason spot is "The (Mis)adventures of Fiona Plum", in which a 20-ish British slacker witch is expelled from her prestigious British witchcraft academy and becomes a live-in nanny for Seattle muggles. It shouldn't be confused with "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" (ABC-to-WB), "Bewitched", "Mr.Belvedere" (British butler), or "Frasier" (Seattle). http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/angel/ mon-21:00 s3 http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/gilmoregirls/ tue-20:00 s2 http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/smallville/ tue-21:00 s1 http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/felicity/ wed-21:00 s4 http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/charmed/ tue-21:00 s4 Sci-Fi Channel (SFC) [www.scifi.com]... summer schedule available online. New episodes of "The Invisible Man" (Inv) and "Farscape" (Fsc) begin fri-13-jun-20:00, in their familiar timeslots. On fri-13-jul- 22:00 they're joined by the fourth season of the absurdist "Lexx". A new series, "Chronicle" (Pulitzer journalist joins tabloid) and new episodes of "The Outer Limits" appear on sat-14-jul-21:00 "First Wave" returns sat-21-jul-20:00 in a new timeslot. "Farscape" now has merchandising: action figures and a tie-in novel (in which Rygel behaves badly, if you can believe such a thing). "Chronicle" shouldn't be confused with "X-Files" spinoff "The Lone Gunmen" (three oddballs run a conspiracy newsletter) or "Early Edition" (Chicago man receives tomorrow's newspaper today, and changes what-will- go-wrong), which shouldn't in turn be confused with "Quantum Leap" (scientist leaps into bodies throughout history, changing what-once- went-wrong) or any show that involves *writing* a newspaper. http://www.scifi.com/invisbleman/ fri-15-jun-20:00 s2 continues http://www.scifi.com/farscape/ fri-15-jun-21:00 s3 continues http://www.scifi.com/lexx/ fri-13-jul-22:00 s4 http://www.scifi.com/firstwave/ sat-21-jul-20:00 s3 continues http://www.scifi.com/chronicle/ sat-14-jul-21:00 s1 http://www.scifi.com/outerlimits/ sat-14-jul-21:00 s7 continues TNT... on tue-12-jun-21:00 premieres "Witchblade", a one-hour series based on the aug-2000 telemovie in which a depressed female cop inherits a magical artifact worn by notables such as Joan of Arc; a bracelet that transforms into a superpowered metal gauntlet. (Hey, let's do "The Matrix" "bullet-time" thing and ogle the little sonic booms spreading from each shell.) /* ************************************************************************ ** Legalese ** Acknowledgments ** Opt-in/out Instructions ** *********************************************************************** */ The set of creative works herein reviewed and analyzed, including the subset {books, movies, TV shows, toys}, are the property of their respective copyright holders. No infringement or endorsement is expressed, implied or intended. The original reviews and analyses are themselves copyright 2001 by Phillip Thorne. In this issue, certain data (possibly not otherwise acknowledged) have been obtained, aggregated and synthesized from: AICN aint-it-cool-news.com Epguides.com epguides.com Excite TV tv.excite.com The Internet Movie Database imdb.com The Sci-Fi Channel scifi.com Sci-Fi Wire scifi.com/scifiwire/ Star Trek Continuum startrek.com If you're receiving this newsletter, you've probably intentionally subscribed to it, or possibly you're interested in special topical coverage, or maybe I've sent you a teaser issue. To subscribe, email nsx@underbase.org with the words "SUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR" in the subject line and/or body. To unsubscribe, use the same address but the phrase "UNSUBSCRIBE NON-SEQUITUR". Capitalization and punctuation are irrelevant, since there's still absolutely no automation behind the subscription process. Newsletter: nsx@underbase.org (human-managed) Discussion list: nsx-l-subscribe@underbase.org (to subscribe; blank subject) nsx-l (list posting) nsx-l-unsubscribe (to unsubscribe) /* *************************************************************************** ** *************************************************************************** ** The Non-Sequitur Express ** http://nsx.underbase.org/ ** Volume 3, Issue 5: Tuesday, 12 June 2001 ** Copyright 1999-2001 Phillip Thorne, nsx@underbase.org ** *************************************************************************** ** ************************************************************************ */